New shift

I started my new shift this weekend. Monday-Wednesday & Saturday 11:30-10 pm. I'm not used to having the market open or the sun up when I'm at work. It doesn't feel right. Today was crazy. Lots of trades, lots of questions, lots of weird situations, and lots of energy. It was fun. The graveyard shift was awesome because the first half of the shift was busy and the last half was dead. I started the shift on Saturday, but it was a pretty slow day and the market was closed. Today was the first day of unstoppable action. We have been combined with the team that was already on this shift, so there are people that I've never worked with before. I don't think they know how to take the night shift. Everyone has been designated an Agent. It started when Shawn Peck called me Agent Smith, referring to The Matrix. I reciprocated with him, and it spread to the whole team. Agent Peck helped me set up Avant as my browser. It is so much better than Internet Explorer. I love the fact that I can customize everything, and it's so much easier to use. Overall, it was a good day at the office.

The end of the graveyard shift

Tonight marks the end of the graveyard shift. E*Trade is switching to VoIP, and our old phone system can't function at the same time. I've spent nearly five years on this shift, dating back to CSFBdirect. I spent about five weeks on the day shift before I was brought back to where I belong. There is some talk about bringing the shift back in January when the phone system is built. I will definitely look at coming back if the shift is as good as it is now. I love working 4X10. I would love to do 2X20 or 1X40. Then I would have the rest of the week to recover. As of right now I am going to a modified swing shift. I will be working Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Saturday from 11:30-10 pm. We marked the death of our shift with pancakes, a Chocodile and PS2. Agent Crawley worked us on the James Bond games. He is ruthless. I think he had secrect government training, but I haven't been able to confirm that yet. Most of us will be on the same shift together, but it won't be quite the same. It's been a good run.

Slay the dragon

I'm getting really sick of all the idiots in the world. There seems to be a lot of them around me and I don't like it. So I have come up with a new slogan- Slay the dragon. It means putting an end to the stupidity all around us. Stupid people need to be told they are stupid or they will continue to aggravate, annoy, and inconvenience the rest of us. Here are some examples: people who don't think a stop sign applies to them; people who enter the intersection when traffic is clearly stopped, thereby blocking the intersection when the light turns red; people who give the token short appearance when someone needs help; people who don't do what they say they will; people that expect everyone else to do the work for them; stupid people who think the rest of us want to hear what they have to say; people like Rosie O'Donnell who think the rest of us shouldn't have guns while she has armed body guards; people who chew gum like a cow; people who think they are the only ones on the planet; people that want to blame their problems on other people; people who won't take any responsibility for themselves; blood suckers- you know who you are. You are melodramatic. You are self-absorbed. You are self-indulgent. You sap the blood and energy from anyone that will listen to you. I don't have the time, energy, or patience to deal with you people anymore. If you approach my castle I will lop off your head with my sword.

Mohawk

I shaved a mohawk like Chuck Liddell last week. I had several days off and I needed a haircut anyway, so I made my wife shave it. I think mine was taller than Chuck's, but he is the Light Heavyweight champion of the UFC. My wife hated it, but my oldest daughter loved it.
I had an interview for a promotion at work, so I had to shave it after 24 hours. I don't think I got the job, so I should have worn the mohawk to the interview. I wore it to the dentist, the Honda dealership and Arctic Circle, so I was out there. It might have been the height, but I didn't like it enough to keep it anyway. Chuck just looks mean. I would never tell him to shave his mohawk, unless I was using someone else's cell phone.

Casio G-Shock

I bought this Casio G-Shock a few months ago and I love it. I bought my first G-Shock about 10 years ago when the battery on my bike computer died. I didn't know how to calibrate the computer so I wanted to get a tough watch that I could use to time my rides. The G-Shock is beyond tough. I have had a few different models since then, but this is my first G-Shock in a dress watch. I don't think I will ever be without a G-Shock. This watch is solar powered and receives a signal from Colorado every night to sync it on atomic time. It has five alarms and world time. The only thing that sucks is that it doesn't have an Italian city for world time, so I have to use Paris for that time zone. That is lame. Ma va la. I paid $75 for this watch and it is way better than a $1000 watch. Drop that out of a helicopter.

Cool products

Spyderco is my favorite knife company for folding knives. When I bought the Spyderco Native it only came with a silver clip. I contacted the company and they sent me a black clip at no charge. Their customer service and knife designs are great.

Cold Steel makes the best fixed blade knives in the world. They produced a video called Proof to demostrate how tough the knives are. They put the Recon Tanto and SRK through the hood of a car several times. I had my Recon Tanto with me when I came across an abandoned car near Rock Canyon in Provo. I put the knife through the car door 10 times without damaging the knife. It did wear off the powder coating at the tip, but that only makes the knife look cooler.

Surefire flashlights are the best light on the planet. They are tough as nails and I'm pretty sure you can shoot the beam to outer space. I carry the Defender everyday. I've blinded my comrades at work during the day. I look forward to the day that I get to blind and strike a perp in a dark parking lot.

Leatherman makes the best multi-tool on the market. I got the PST over 10 years ago and I love it. They have the best designs and the best tool options. Plus, Leatherman is a much cooler name than Gerber. A multi-tool can't be named after baby food. That's just stupid.

People I want to fight

Tom Cruise
Michael Jackson
Macaulay Culkin
Power Rangers
Tim Robbins
John Kerry
Alec Baldwin
Ted Kennedy
Dell Schanze
George Steinbrenner
Ted Turner
Jared- the Subway idiot
Rocky Anderson
Leonardo Di Caprio
Dr. Phil
Osama bin Laden
All boy band members

The following women need a stiff uppercut:
Oprah
Martha Stewart
Rosie O'Donnell
Whoopi Goldberg
Cameron Diaz
Susan Sarandon
Julia Roberts
Hillary Clinton
Diane Feinstein
Barbara Boxer
Cindy Sheehan
Jane Fonda
Deedee Corradini
Paris Hilton
Nicole Ritchie
Dixie Chicks
Alanis Morisette
Roseanne Barr
Courtney Love
Madonna
Barbara Streistand
Any woman who hyphenates her last name

UFC 62

Chuck Liddell defended his Light Heavyweight title against Renato Sobral on Saturday night. Liddell knocked out Sobral with a roundhouse kick three years ago. Since then, Sobral has submitted 10 straight opponents. Liddell has awesome stand up and good grappling skills, while Sobral is a great grappler. Liddell said he wanted to keep the fight off the ground so he could look for the opening and delivery a knockout blow. The fight lasted 95 seconds, with Liddell knocking out Sobral with a barrage of punches. Liddell took several punches to the face before he stepped back and hit Sobral with a right hook that put him off balance. He followed up with a few punches, then a solid upper cut. Once Sobral went to the ground the punches fell from the sky. Dave McCarthy stopped the fight, but Sobral was totally disoriented and grabbed his leg, trying to take him down. McCarthy rolled on top of Sobral and contained him until he realized what had happened. Liddell should be fighting Vanderlei Silva or Tito Ortiz next. I want to see Ortiz get knocked out again. He is too cocky for someone not owning the LHW belt. He is a good fighter, but Liddell knocked him out. I hope it happens again.

Bands I hate

This is my list of bands I hate. There are bands that I don't really like, but this is the list of the ones that piss me off to no end. I wish all of their music would be destroyed so no one would have to listen to it again. These guys suck. In no particular order, the losers are.........

Beatles
Rolling Stones
Led Zeppelin
Pink Floyd
All boy bands
Oasis
Beach boys
Dishwalla
Blind melon
Dire Straits
Madonna
Courtney Love
Police
NIN
Avril Lavigne
Fiona Apple
Doors
Ace of Base
Dixie Chicks
Alien Ant Farm
Berlin
Bjork
Black Crowes
Cake
Eric Carmen
Cars
Cher
Celine Dion
Natalie Merchant/10,000 Maniacs
Gloria Estefan/MSM
Barbara Streistand
Alanis Morissette
UB40
Violent Femmes
Carly Simon
Eric Clapton
Tom Petty
Billy Idol
Elvis
Michael Bolton
David Bowie
Cyndi Lauper
Wham
Mr. Mister
Ricky Martin
REM
Aqua
John Mayer
Wang Chung
Weezer
Bush
Melissa Ethridge

Versaflex

Jeremy Sanderson ordered a Versaflex stretch machine for me from Century. It arrived yesterday so he brought it to the dojo this morning. I opened it after class even though I should have gone to bed. I tried the Versaflex at the Martial Arts Supershow in Las Vegas in July and I was really impressed with it. Then I tried to put it together. The assembly itself wasn't hard, but the instruction booklet was the worst I've ever seen. The diagrams were horrible. The instructions referred to part numbers, which corresponded to the master parts list, but there was no way to determine which bolt was the proper bolt. Two different bolts were the same size, but one was threaded halfway while the other was completely threaded. I thought I was using the correct bolts, but I had to switch them out later. It took me almost 90 minutes to put it together. They should have marked the bolts, or at least included a size chart with the actual measurements for comparison. I don't think I have all the bolts in the right place, but it seems to work. I called the number listed on the machine, but it was disconnected, so I called Century to complain. I wish I could revise the instruction book. I used it before and after I slept today. I'm hoping that twice a day will help me do the splits by the end of the year. I'm really pleased with it now, but the assembly sucked.

Fortnight

It's been more than a fortnight since my last entry. I spent a week at Lake Powell, then tried to catch up on all the things I don't do. Lake Powell was a great vacation after an eight year hiatus. That was too long. Lake Powell will now be a yearly retreat. We found a great spot in Moki Canyon. The lake was a lot lower than the last time I was there, but someone said the water level is higher than it was last year. We had a good time wake boarding, tubing, cliff jumping, fishing and swimming.

Agent Peck just discovered that the Karate Kid kick works. I'm not really sure what kind of kick it was, but it seemed to work. I think he scared himself.

Chuck Lidell is fighting Babalu Sobral this weekend in UFC 62. I hope Lidell knocks him out. I was at the Martial Arts Supershow in Las Vegas in early July. I took a grappling class from Frank Shamrock and got my picture taken with Matt Hughes, Frank Shamrock and Bill Wallace. We got tickets to UFC 61. There were some good fights, but the Tito Ortiz/Ken Shamrock fight was not one of them. I think the ref stopped the fight too soon. Tito acted like a punk after the fight. He was talking too much trash for someone who doesn't even hold the title for his weight class anymore. Chuck Lidell knocked him out. This was my first Supershow and it was awesome. I want to make a point of getting down there for it every year. The MAIA gave Chuck Norris a lifetime achievement award. You can find cool Chuck Norris facts on my blog link.

Energy drinks

I have never tried an energy drink until tonight. Then I tried two. The first was sugar free Von Dutch. The second was Mega Energy mango-passionfruit. Both tasted pretty good, but I don't think I would pay $2/can for them. I didn't notice a big spike in my energy like I expected. My manager owns a gas station and the two drinks weren't selling very well, so he brought them to work so he could make room for something else. I tried them both since they were free, but I wouldn't pay $2 to try something like this just to see what it was like. When I still lived in California I found a drink called Brainwash. This was in 1994 before energy drinks really hit the market. That was a wicked drink. It turned everything blue. Everything. I tried to buy some on Ebay several months ago but the seller never sent it and was kicked off of Ebay. Punk. You can find it on sodaking.com. It is the best drink ever.

Agent Peck is super cool

Agent Peck is super cool. He helped me set up my blog and wrote the code to improve it. He is the best hacker on the sixth floor.

M&M's

Peanut M&M's are better than plain M&M's.

Night shift

After 15 years of keeping a daily journal, I decided to start my first blog. Since I work the night shift for E*Trade Financial I will have plenty of time to air my grievances and write about the things that should interest everyone else. I was started working for DLJdirect on July 10, 2000. Within one year we were sold and became CSFBdirect. I went to the night shift after being with the company for about 17 months. After about two years with the company we were sold to the Bank of Montreal and became Harrisdirect. Bank of Montreal owns Harris Bank in Chicago, and the merged us with their pathetic attempt at an online brokerage firm. In October 2005, BOM sold us to E*Trade Financial. We were all worried that E*Trade would lay off our office, but we are still here almost a year later. E*Trade has been much better to work for than I originally expected. We merged from Harrisdirect to E*Trade on January 11, 2006. Work sucked for the next few months. We had all kinds of technical problems with the merger. We went from holding about five calls at Harrisdirect to 250 calls the first night of the merger. The night shift has always been a great work environment because we are busy for the first half of the shift and slow the second half. There were five of us on the night we held 250 calls. Our customers were so mad. We had people holding for hours to talk to us. We knew we could never get through all the calls in one night. The next morning we transferred over 100 calls to our Charlotte office. We don't like them anyway. It took a few months for the calls to go away. We earned our overtime in those months. I worked a 22 hour shift one day. E*Trade rented out Boondocks for a company party to apologize for the merger. They gave away tons of prizes. I ended up with a $150 gift card to Cabela's. As it turned out, E*Trade was severely understaffed, so we finally had a chance for promotions in our office. I was able to act as a Team Lead and have time off the phone to help manage the new night shift. The veterans went to the weekend night shift, so we had rookies that needed a lot of help. In May I was officially promoted to a Team Lead and went to a day shift after 4 1/2 years on the night shift. I missed the night shift. It was in my blood at that point. It took a few weeks to get used to living like the rest of the world. I was so tired the first week. On July 10, 2006, I was sent back to the night shift as a Team Lead after about seven weeks in the sunlight.

This is where I belong. I see my kids more on this shift and it lets me teach Karate and mountain bike during the day. I work from 6:30 pm to 5 am four days a week. I wish I could work 2X20 and have five days off, but 4X10 in awesome. It makes the weekend feel so much longer. I never hit traffic and I don't have to be around a lot of people that I probably don't like anyway. The night shift rules.